Popcorn Songs

A very good friend of mine's, Ken's, favorite word is verisimilitude. While describing the epiphany I had last Sunday to him, he managed to ascribe the word verisimilitude to it. I like that, because it makes me feel this is less of an existential mid-life crisis than I might otherwise believe.

Sometime between ordering and finishing a venti caffe mocha (I gave up coffee as a morning ritual, but allow myself the occasional treat) I came to a perfectly clear understanding that nothing I do in my life has any importance. Everything I do is either money-making or pointless entertainment. Ok, everyone needs money, sure. But it's not like my job is too important, or even that I'm very important in my job. I'd stopped identifying myself by what my job was some years ago. I think part of my epiphany was that I'd never redefined myself. I just sort of left myself undefined...

Some people say you're defined by your relationships with people. I have not a lot of friends, but enough. It wasn't until after college that I formed any lasting friendships, but I was more of a socialite in college--drinking and parties make that easier. Bars aren't the same as college parties. I can't do bars all the time now and I don't want to. If I could find Karaoke at something besides a bar, I would have a new 2nd home.

Unable to answer the question of how to define myself, or do anything of importance, I decided to ask a different question. The one I settled on was, did I know how to survive? Not the eat, sleep, work, etc. survival issues. I meant, of the things that might kill me tomorrow, have I taken time to learn enough about them to have a realistic chance of survival? What kills people? Diet and health, cars, guns and fires was the list I came up with. I probably didn't know enough about any of those things to save my own life, let alone anyone else's.

Enter the plan of action. I don't know if it makes sense. It's even harder to explain to the people I'm talking to about it, but it's something. Something is better than nothing. I'm hoping that somewhere along the plan I'll come up with a better one or find the meaning I'm looking for.

Diet and exercise is something I've worked at on and off for years. I'm overweight, but still carry myself pretty well (or maybe I just believe that, lol.) So, back to the daily exercise and small diet changes--I like food too much to really diet. Besides, I believe in exercise more than I believe in fad diets.

I'm enrolled in the Red Cross course, "Community First Aid and Safety." It's 8:30AM to 5:30PM, zoiks! But it covers adult, child and infant CPR and basic first aid.

I plan on contacting the Lower Providence Gun Club to see they offer instructional classes or workshops. I know enough people who know enough about guns that we'll figure something out.

Bobby Ore Motorsports offers professional driving instruction--and not the kind you need just to get your license. It's a tad expensive, but looks like the most fun. So, my next vacation is planned.

The Montgomery County Fire Academy does not allow the public in their training program. It's a matter of insurance and liability I'm told. The man I spoke with suggested I volunteer with a fire company. I must admit, I'm least sure about this one. Not that I wouldn't volunteer--it will be weird to just walk in and offer, but I can do that. The problem is I can't imagine what I'll say when they ask why I'm volunteering. Somehow, I don't think, "because I want to go to the MCFA courses," will be a good enough reason for them.

I should add gardening in there. Being able to grow food seems important.

So, that's the plan. Maybe this is mid-life crisis. Maybe I'm just crazy (or crazier). But maybe it's what my friend, Ken, said. Verisimilitude.

Oh, and if you know my grandparents, don't tell them any of this--they'd die of worry.